Everyone knows that life changes when you have children. That’s obvious. But I think people under estimate just how much it changes. Amongst the pelvic floor exercises and leaking boobs, there is a brand new human that you now have to look after and raise. When on earth are you ever going to have the time to be a “couple” again?
Before having children, we (my husband and I), would often go out together and not really think anything of it. In a good way. Now we go out just so we can talk without being interrupted. I’m not sure if “date nights” are a new concept but I think they do make you realise how little we actually talk to each other without distractions. I’m not just talking about children here; technology plays a major part in our lives too. (Obviously not as important as the children…)
So date nights are important right? Was it not the wonderful and wise “Beckham’s” who admitted they have a date night each week, to keep the love alive? People can say what they like about them but their marriage so far seems to be surviving. And that’s after four kids! So what’s our excuse? Well to start, we haven’t the same disposable income as the Beckham’s but maybe we still need to make more time for each other.
(Even with those hair styles they have stayed together.)
Date nights don’t have to be going out somewhere either. You are probably both too tired to do that anyway. I sometimes make my husband sit at the kitchen table (shock horror) and cook us a nice meal so we can chat over a glass/bottle of wine. Even this small gesture means we can go back to being ourselves and chat. Like we used to do before having kids but always took it for granted.
Also, date “nights” could be date “days”. Have you ever gone out to the shops or for a coffee without children?! It is the strangest thing and you have the constant feeling you have forgotten something. Saying this, to go out in the day means you both aren’t falling asleep while trying to have a conversation. You can do things with ease, like catch a train or wait in a queue. It is stress free and you can actual enjoy each others company. (While checking your phone frequently to make sure the kids are okay with Grandparents!)
Remember, you and your partner have been through a journey together already. Supported each other through heart breaks and celebrations. The fact Steve is still with me after seeing me at my absolute worst (giving birth isn’t as attractive as I may have hoped), means he is a keeper. Sometimes I feel he doesn’t know just how much I appreciate him. That is why it is so important to make time for yourselves. Just so you can talk without being interrupted. (Even if all you talk about is your children.) Be able to listen to each other and to eat a dinner before it goes cold. To just be yourselves without having to be Mum and Dad.
Go back to being that fun, carefree couple you were when you first met. (Remember those days?) Make the most of each other before you have to get up at six am and share yourselves with your children.