“You look weird”, my lovely son said to me this morning, as I danced around the sitting room following a sudden burst of over-tired energy. Charming! Nothing like a bit of a confidence boost in the morning is there?! Thanks Son.
Although my dignity was wounded (and I obviously stopped dancing straight away), I was more taken a back by how grown up he suddenly sounded. My Son was (is?) one of those caring, little boys who usually says things like “You look pretty Mummy”, or “That looks nice Mummy”. He is very good at saying these kind of things when I am feeling pretty rubbish about my half put together appearance or when I’m wearing something I am not entirely comfortable in. Children are very gifted at making you feel good like that. Or at least my child was until this morning. But maybe I needed a bit of honesty and it made me think how many times have I danced in front of people and they have thought “She looks weird”, but have politely smiled or even tried to join in to save my embarrassment. I feel my best friends have probably done this on occasion. Anyway, the point is I feel like I am losing my sweet baby boy to a four year old who isn’t afraid to tell his Mummy the truth. This obviously isn’t a bad thing but it does make me realise that when he was a baby and everyone said to make the most of “this stage” because he will be at school before we know it: they weren’t joking. He starts school in September.
Over the last few weeks I have been noticing some changes in him. His character is building and he is becoming very strong willed. (This is putting it politely). We always counted ourselves really lucky as we never experienced “proper” tantrums from him. He has never, touch wood, thrown himself on the floor kicking and screaming. He doesn’t react like that, he usually just cries. However, I have started to notice a few under the breath remarks or he will answer back in such a way it throws me. Over the last few weeks I have been told he is “still waiting for my drink Mummy” and “Mummy you aren’t listening”. I haven’t been listening because I’m trying to remember if I took the meat out the freezer, which is awful, but I used to be able to get away with this and now I can’t. Tonight while I was running the bath, he announced that he was going to decide when it was Izzy Whizzy tidy up time. When I told him that Mummy would be deciding, and that time was now, he simply shook his head and said “oh Mummy”. I am laughing on the inside but outside I have to keep a straight face so he knows when certain boundaries are being pushed. But I don’t get too cross. Not yet. Because he is four and he is learning about opinions, boundaries and respect. All aspects of his character which he is developing. I am enjoying watching him grow and learn. Although it does make me sad at the same time. It is a funny old thing this parenting malarkey.
So, yes. Some big changes are happening and there are more a foot as we prepare him for school. (That’s a different post). The biggest change I have noticed, has been in our relationship. From birth I have always been there for him, obviously the majority of Mums are, but he has never gone to a Nursery or Childminder’s; I, myself, was a Childminder so I was always there at home with him. But now he goes to pre school and then onto “big” school, where other adults are in charge of him and are there to comfort and teach him. It is no longer just me. He is also becoming very close to Daddy and they like to do things “just the boys”. I guess this is all just part of growing up and I have to adjust to this just as much as he does. I am pleased he is starting to find his feet and answer for himself. I am excited to see what kind of a man (that’s scary) he will turn out to be. As long as he always has a place for his Mummy. Which he will, because I have the chocolate buttons.